| |
|
|
| 09:55pm 18/08/2003 |
| |
mood:  annoyed
|
okay i am finally getting around to updating this. well myrtle beach was fun, and ya i actually can spell it right now. after seeing it so may times, its hard not to.well i got to myrtle beach around 4, she just drove around, then at 6 she ate breakfast, eggs, toast, grits, it was good too. then she drove around some more, stopped at shops and looked around, at 8:30 we went to see if the hotel would let us check in early, b/c check in is at 3, and they let us, so we swam some and at 1 i took a nap since i didnt sleep on the way there, i slept til 4 then we went out again, ate dinner at the filling station, it has pizza mainly, but also make your own sandwhiches and pasta. the chocolate chip pizza was really good. then we went back and swam some more, shannon lost his glasses. i also blew up 3 floaty things, shannon started one, but could only blow it up 1/4 the way. but at 11 me, my sister, and monica went out. she went talking around going to all the stores, the guys were really scary, they would keep yelling things. and one car even followed us. monica got scared and she got us to all run to her car and lock the doors and go. that was at 1:30. i also got a dragon henna tattoo. i went to bed about 2:30 and i got up at 8. we went out shopping,then went out swimming, i didnt feel like it so i didnt, after they got back we went out shopping again, went to the mall. i got posters, a messanger bag, and 2 manga, naruto 1 and love hina 13. then we went back to the hotel took showers and all. then went out again, shannon and monica dropped us off at arby's and they went to texas steak house grill to eat while me and my sister ate at arby's. when we was done we went to the stores around there. all the guys were being asses and yelling stuff. then me and amanda walked to big lot and this old black guy riding a bike went by us, and went "damn, yal are fine" or something like that, it was scary. but we walked back to pacific beachwear where we was suppost to meet them and went back to the hotel. we had to watch colin while shannon and monica went out dancing. we walked around the beach while beth was there then we went back and watched lilo and stitch, i like it. after that i went to sleep, i had a hard time sleeping, but i got up 8, but i was up every hour for about an hour. we had to back up then, we had to be out by 11. so we checked out of the hotel and went to beths and jims hotel. we went out to eat at subway then went to a nascar gokart like thing. we was there til 3, i ate 2 banana split dip and dots, i love them. then we started on the road and when we got to the gas station and filled up, the realized they left their digital camera on the beach, so we turned around. on the way back to the beach, a car almost hit us, i was so scared, b/c i could see the guy real good, that's how close he was, i would of got the worse of it if they hit us, i was inbetween the door and a car seat. monica was crying, she was just in an accident 2 weeks ago. so we went back to the beach to find out it wasnt there. we finally really left at 5. we got on the road just to get lost, we finally found out how to get back on the road home about 7ish. we got to south of the border and i bought fireworks. then at 9 we stopped at a Ryans and ate dinner and i called andrew from there. i talked to him til we left. then we went back on the road and we got home at 12:30. i didnt really sleep, i wasnt tired, i went to sleep 6:30 and woke up 10. then i got online and didn a lot of nothing.went to work at 4, it was long and boring, i was hyper to, frankie and young think im violent. well i got home about 9:40 and here i am now |
|
| |
|
Read 11 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:07am 14/08/2003 |
| |
mood:  awake
|
well i know i havent been writing in my lj but everytime i try to it comes up some type of error. and i also know i havent been keeping up with everyone's journal. but im leaving today to go to myrtal beach, SC. i promise i will try to keep up with everyone's journal after that. but i havent really been up to much lately, i got in a fight with my friend brian and that got me depressed and also my cow mouse died, it was really sad to watch, i cried. but other than that nothing has happened. im gonna try to read everyone's journal before i leave, and im sorry. well bye everyone, ill be back monday |
|
| |
|
Read 6 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 03:12pm 09/08/2003 |
| |
mood:  bouncy
|
okay, i know i know, i havent updated in 2 months, but guess what, im back! well i guess everyone wants to know what i have been up to for the last 2 months huh? well lets see i got a cell phone, its with verizon,its the phone i wanted. ive been keeping in touch with 2 people, brian and andrew. it would of been more, if i had their number. well, not much more. well umm, i dont have much else to say, so umm, ill leave it like this, or until i write another post with a point! |
|
| |
|
Read 15 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 10:22pm 04/06/2003 |
| |
mood:  depressed
|
Well as everyone noticed i didnt give up my laptop yet, they only got up to "S." Well child development was fun, i had a little boy named stephan and he he was 5, i got to play around with him for an hr. well then in algebra 2, i took a make up quiz, i failed badly, i got a 34. i have to take my test tomorrow, i need to study. well in spanish we didnt really do anything, during directed study i tried to finish my animal project in biology, i didnt finish, but im 1/2 way. then in biology we finsihed disecting the pig, we have a test on the partsof the pig next class, oh joy.. well after school i rode the bus to my grandfathers. my uncle was there. i had to say there til him and david finished painting. well then steve took me home, he brought up last time. i basicly sat in silence when he was talking about it. he said he has been thinking about me alot, and everything. then he asked if he could toutch, i shook my head, and he said okay and he said other stuff but i dont remember, but he kept asking if he could, the last time he said if he could please b/c it would be the last time before school lets out, i shook my head again. at least he asked and respected what i said alittle this time. but since then ive been depressed, after i got homei went to sleep, so when i woke up, i felt a little better. i had a migrain by then also, so sleep helped it. well now im doing school work, even tho i dont want to, i have to, i need to do all my makeup work so i can pass, im staying after tomorrow in biology to take a test, and tomorrow im going to algebra 2 in directed study. here is my goal for tonight
in biology
1. animal project (1/2 way)
2. plant project
3. Study plants
4. Study animals
english
1. poem (done)
2. poem annalysis
3. poem book
Spanish 2
1. study vocabulary and perterite tense
2. perterite worksheet (1/2 way done)
Algebra 2
1. study chapter 10
2. do book work (or just copy it)
that is my goal for tonight, its a lot, so im probably gonna stay up long, but i dont have long to finish all this work, i need to have to have it done by friday, or monday at the latest. tomorrow im gonna study the map, and all of unit 2, then after that, i should have basicly all i need done, except for chemistry, i need to talk to my teacher about my research paper and my lab, im probably gonna come in earily and take my chemistry test on friday. i hope my chemistry teacher works with me, but there isnt really much i will be able to do as an atternitve. well i guess im gonna go, im starting to cry, im thinking to much, i am starting to doubt myself, this is a lot of work for me to do. i dont know if i will be able to keep a C in spanish 2, but i really need to. i need to go to spanish 3, i just have to. i have no participation for may either, that is gonna hurt my grade, i gotta ask if there is some way for me to make it up. i hope i can do this, this means a lot to me, the map quiz is what im most worried about, well and the unit 2 test, damn it, its not fair, if i only did my presentation, then i wouldnt have to take the test, i need to find a camcorder so i can record so i dont have to.. oh ya, today is really going to be my last day with my comp, b/c i have to turn it in tomorrow when they call for me, im gonna miss everyone, im gonna have no one to talk to, or no one to read about :'(... |
|
| |
|
Read 12 - Post |
| |
| My depressing poem i just wrote |
|
|
| 10:14pm 04/06/2003 |
| |
mood: depressed
|
Tears of Pain
cries for help
forever unnoticed
death is near
wanting me
to come and follow
All alone
so unwanted
puddles of blood
from my cuts
dripping down
forever stain'd
Toyed emotions
broken heart
scar'd feelings
forever hurt
A little puppet
on strings
following orders
inter screams
Life is ending
with me alone
blood running down
to the floor
Morning after
no one cries
for no one knew
this dead girl |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 06:48am 04/06/2003 |
| |
mood:  sad
|
today is the last day of my laptop. well i wanted to say bye to everyone, ill try to be back soon! i love you all! i really do! well if my sis lets me, i might be online some until friday, my sis gives up her laptop friday. well this is bad that this week is going by fast, i have to much makeup work! well atleast most of what i have to do is quizes and test, but still X_X |
|
| |
|
Read 3 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 06:45am 04/06/2003 |
| |
You're a decent fighter, but you have your 'feminine' side (which makes you really, really, REALLY MOODY).
You're a great sensei, but you can't cook to save your life.
Good thing you have Kenshin! ^-^x
ReverseBlade! |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 02:55pm 03/06/2003 |
| |
mood:  sleepy
|
::sigh:: its tuesdays, well after today, no more laptop, and that means im not gonna be posting or commenting for awhile, i dont kno whow long, it depends on when my desktop gets fixed. i know everyone is happy and no one will miss me, but i thought i would tell anyone who wants to know. well yesterday i went shopping and i spent $90 at top topic, i got 2 outfits and shoe shirts, so ya im happy about that. well i have loads of makeup work so i guess im gonna do it, so bye bye ppl |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 09:26pm 01/06/2003 |
| |
mood:  sore
|
okay, i woke up at 9, and i started watching love hina in japanese. well at 12 my worked called and i had to get dressed and go to work. i didnt get there til 12:30. well today time went by fast, at 5:30 i clocked out and ate lunch, cheese doodles :-P! but i only stayed out for 15 mins, b/c i wasnt real hungry, and i got bored. well frankie asked me to go to the mall with him, but then i got busy and didnt answer him, so he asked my mom, so now i gotta go to the mall tomorrow. he wants to buy me a shirt or something. and my paycheck is only going to be for about $25, b/c i only worked last sunday, which sucks. well i clocked out at 7:30 but i didnt get hom til 7:45 b/c jennifer made me bag for her a little, and my mom was talking. well anyways, after i got home, my feet had big blisters on the heal, im never wearing those shoes again. well at 8:30 i took a shower, and i feel refreshed. but right when i got in the shower frankie called, so i had to call him back when i finished brushing my hair, which was about 15 mins ago was when i called him.i goot be at his house 4:30 tomorrow, and i have to find my social secerity card, i dont know what i did with it which is bad bad. well i guess im gonna go look for it, i dont really have anything else to say, so bye bye, tomorrow is my firstday of school in 2 weeks, and i only have 2 weeks left, im in trouble! |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:40pm 31/05/2003 |
| |
mood:  hungry
|
i know i know, i havent updated the last 2 days, bad bad me. well friday i went to a base ball game, so i was kinda busy, plus i got love hina finally and i watched it 12-4, then i got online and got ready to go to the baseball game. it wasnt major leage, it was the level under that. well it wasnt that bad, they had nothing to eat that i liked at the food thingy (it was a thing for my dad's work). also my dad noticed my arm, but he thought it was only marker, b/c my sis had red marker, mostly washed off on her arm, i was lucky. well at 7ish the game started, i got 2 balloon thingys that you hit together and they make a lot of noice. well at the game, the first 1/2 was 5-0. that was when i started haning out with my sister and her friend. it was kinda intertaining at first, we ran into sierra's boyfriend and her brother. her boyfriends same is chris. i admit he is cute, but he is a total ass hole. her brother is a bigger ass hole, he poped one of my balloon things! well i used it as my chocker, so stylish. well my sister and her friend made 2 guy friends, sierra fell for one. she even got him to break up with her boyfriend. i dont really liek sierra, she is a preppy and boy crazy. well she got his number and he got hers and all of that, and we left the baseball game 9:30, the game was still 5-0, and 2 more thingys left. well i came home, got online alittle, then i watched love hina til after 6, well until i fell asleep which was 1/2 way through the spring special. my sis woke me up at 10 b/c my parents bought breakfast, so i ate, stayed upt il 11:30 and went back to sleep, i woke back up 2:30, then i watched spring special so i could find out waht happened. love hina is a really good anime i think. i am thinking i might like it more than chobits now. well i also paid for final fantasy unlimited today, i figure i will get it in a week. well all i did today was think and talk online some, and cut things out of sale ads. well at around 8:30 i think it might of been 7:30 i forgot, i go tmy mom up and she took me to rite aid, they had a lot of candy on sale so i stocked up. i was also gonna buy a prepay master card, but my mom said no. well now i found a better one online, only $25 a yr, my dad told me to think about it first, im gonna get it. i think i am going to. oh ya, eariler today my mom noticed my arm, and she knew i cut it at first glance. "why did you cut your arm" i hurried up and hid my arm "what does it say " she asked as she moved to sit beside me. she kept repeating, trying to move my arm so she could see. "if you dont show me your grounded" she said "go ahead" i replied. she raised her hand to hit me "MOM!" my sister yelled. "you have no right to be mad at her when you used to do the same" "look at the scars i have"my mom replied" my mom then made me show her my arm, she couldnt read it tho, b/c it was almost headed where i put i hate life, but the star and the lines were still visible on my arm. i then ran upstairs and cried well that is really all i did today, except ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) lonelyraver called me, also i talked to fullmetalandrew and zerglor online, fullmetalandrew the most, i really like talking to him. well besides that im kinda worried my mom will send me to a phycirist again. she has been pretty calm now tho, i think she is in denial about me being depressed. b/c ive hid it the last yr, by staying upstairs, and hardly going downstairs and be around them. well i guess that is all i have to say, bye |
|
| |
|
Read 10 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 11:16pm 28/05/2003 |
| |
mood:  worried
|
GAH! my sister saw my arm, i was trying to hide it, b/c i forgot about and put it in pain view. she saw it and saw "what does it say?" so i hid it. she begs me, so i let her read it. it says i hate life. and the next thing she asked me was "are you gonna kill yourself again?" so i said no, i mean noway would i tell her the truth. i mean i dont know. i just hope she dont tel l my mom. if she does, my mom is gonna send me to the physicist, who is gonna put me in the hospital. my sister was calling me a hipocrate, b/c i got onto it when she carved her bf's name a few yrs ago. im scared im gonna end up in the hospital, and if i go, how am i gonna finish this school year?i havent been to school in a week and a 1/2, and hospital stays are 10 days. man im screwed if my sis talks. i dont know what to do... |
|
| |
|
Read 9 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 07:06pm 28/05/2003 |
| |
mood:  crushed
|
okay here i am once again living my sadden depressed life. im kinda mad b/c fullmetalandrew didnt get online today and i was looking foward to talking to him, but noo, he had to play DR and forget about me. so typical about guys. i didnt sleep to well last night, around one, i got so depressed and lonely, that i started cutting myself again. it dont look as bad this time b/c i kinda decorated it, but it still looks bad, i have i hate life twice on it. i managed to not cut myself for a week. oh well screw life anways. i came close to slitting my wrist, i couldnt do it tho, i have 3 small cuts were i pressed the razor blade at the end of my wrist. i also talked to lonelyraver on the phone last night, he had to eat dinner tho. well once again i didnt go to school. i didnt want to b/c i have gym and my arm, everyone would see it. i soaked it in water today, and got the scars off, it started bleeding again today tho, but the water wiped away the blood. i cut my arm some again today. im rather saddened that fullmetalandrew didnt get online, but now im just mad. im probably gonna cut myself more before the night is up. i was alone before babyluna got online. so now im not as sad, before she got on, i was talking to zerglor but he had to go, so i was alone for about an hr. i feel so alone most the time, and i cant blaim no one for not wanting to talk to me, i would avoid me too. im just a pitiful little person, with no life, or no hope of a life. i told brian about who i liked, and he gave me a really hard time about it, he is such as ass hole anyways. he is a racist, and he hates goths. but i dont care what he thinks b/c it is my life. well i might go back to school tomorrow. i dont know. well i guess im gonna go, i dont have nothing to say that worth sayting, so bye |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:48am 28/05/2003 |
| |
mood:  predatory
|
actually two years ago when i was young and crazy, i actually wanted to become an assassin. i used to want to join the military (well i kinda still do) and learn the basics and all that stuff. shows i was used to be a really crazy girl, but dont worry, im over that stage.
I am a sniper/professional killer.
Which cat that thinks it's human are you?
brought to you by Quizilla |
|
| |
|
Read 4 - Post |
| |
|
|
|
hyper
loved
accomplished
bored